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My mother always teases me that I am “middle aged”. I fight back and say “I am not,” and with that she responds “What, are you going to live ’til 100?” Well, maybe. Thinking of this exchange makes me wonder what is the definition of middle aged? What does society expect of the middle aged person? And, why do I not feel this way?

Middle aged is a group of people who are 45 to 65 years of age. By definition then, yes, I am “middle aged.” However, does that mean I have to curl up on the couch with my cup of chamomile tea and my knitting at night?

As I stated before, I am an instructor at Moraine Valley Community College. At some point in my 17 years there I became old enough to be my students’ mother. I knew it was going to happen, but when it did I was in shock. But let me tell you about Students of today… They don’t do anything. On Mondays I ask how the weekend was and if they did anything fun… Nope.. Nada.. nothing. It is pretty sad when I have a better weekend then them. As a middle aged woman I have more energy than these 20 year-old kids.

I recently read an article from the Wall Street Journal entitled, “The Freedom f My 50s Is Amazing’: Women Share Stories of Midlife Reinvention. This was a response to an article written on May 9, 2019 in the same journal called ” The New Rules of Middle Age, Written By Women.” the response from women who are considered middle aged who have reinvented themselves was overwhelming. Women forging new paths in the middle of life.

This was very inspirational to me because I am not sure what I should be doing. Everyone says to “follow your passion,” however when you have to make money to support yourself and a teenager it is hard to just pick up, move to an island, live on a beach, eat coconuts and write the Great American Novel. So, I do things that are challenging.. well used to. I guess this middle aged stigma has gotten me down.

I have always been the person who will say Why Not? Instead of Why? I guess that is why I have completed 6 Spartan races and 2 times up the John Hancock stairs in Chicago. The one comment that really stung was a former friend of mine asked why I did these races and he claimed it was because I wanted to show off. I explained to him that I do these mud challenges because I still can.

I don’t remember my mother every being old to me. She was very active in my childhood activities, however, she is not the young that I feel. I swear at 48 I feel like 28. I hope this goes on forever. So, what is middle aged? How am I supposed to act? Can someone tell me that going down the slide at the playground is not allowed anymore? If it is… I don’t want to go on..

Gamerman, Ellen. “The New Rules of Middle Age, Written by Women.” The Wall Street Journal, Dow Jones & Company, 8 May 2019, www.wsj.com/articles/the-new-rules-of-middle-age-written-by-women-11557323488.

Gamerman, Ellen. “’The Freedom of My 50s Is Amazing’: Women Share Stories of Midlife Reinvention.” The Wall Street Journal, Dow Jones & Company, 17 July 2019, www.wsj.com/articles/the-freedom-of-my-50s-is-amazing-women-share-stories-of-midlife-reinvention-11563370767.

Modesty, sometimes known as demureness, is a mode of dress and deportment which intends to avoid the encouraging sexual attraction in others.

There is a word that has gone away. I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine and i noticed that she was wearing a “bralette” under her top and it was visible. I said why are you wearing a top under your top and she stated “that the shirt had a wide neck and you could see her bra strap.” I got it. However, that brought about a conversation about how the millennial generation does not care who sees what when they dress. When did this start happening? Where did modesty go?

Growing up in the 70s as a child, I was raised in what you would have called a pretty modest household. I don’t remember a day that my mother didn’t wake up and put on a robe and slippers in the morning. We had robes and slippers too. My father NEVER walked around in his underwear. When you got dressed in “fancy’ clothes you wore a slip and maybe a camisole to go over your bra so not one would see it through your shirt. No one saw your underwear through your dress. Even when I was a teenager my grandfather would see us coming to visit and immediately put a shirt on over his undershirt, which he ALWAYS wore. He would never think of opening the door and having us see him not dressed.

So that is the question I have. What happened to covering up? I work in one of the largest community colleges in the State of Illinois and most of the student body is made up of young adults under the age of 21. I usually dread the warm weather because I know that I’m going to just see too much. In high school we worked very hard to be sure our bra straps were never showing. Even going as far as pinning them when need be. Now, it doesn’t even matter. And why not wear a blue bra with a white shirt. I always admired your undergarments.

This summer I was walking from my job at WBBM about noon on a Saturday. There are always music festivals going on which brings Teens into the city from the outer suburbs. But I want to know what mother would let their 15 year old daughter out with shorts that don’t cover them. I do not think it is appropriate to see under-aged ass hanging out of shorts that were meant for toddlers. Okay, maybe that is a bit harsh, but there is no imagination. It is all out there for people to see. My mother said that when people dress like that, they are looking for sex. I don’t believe that, but she is from a different generation. Just a little more fabric please. And don’t get me started on the skin tight, way too short dresses.

Oh my, I do sound like an old lady. The last thing I want to discuss is yoga pants. Most of my friends know that I do not think of them as pants, however I think I am in the minority. So, here is my problem with them now…. sometimes they are see through an now I not only can see your underwear (usually a thong), but your bare ass. Come on! and the new trend is wearing a really tight half shirt so your belly is exposed too. People get a real kick out of seeing all of the outfits of the shoppers at Walmart, but as I stated before, I work at a community college and I see stuff…

So, to wrap this up, parents may think they are doing their kids a favor by letting them “show” some skin or letting them express themselves, but really what are they saying? What is going to happen to the kids of your kids? Are we all just going to walk around naked? Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez was quoted saying “Classy is when a woman has everything to flaunt, but chooses not to show it.” Sometimes the mystery is sexy, however I am afraid there has been a spoiler alert!

If you have any thoughts on this topic, please feel free to share in the comment section.

Julie

I have been wanting to get my thoughts on paper for quite some time. As a person that grew up in the 70s and 80s, my computer knowledge is not up to par with my 13 year old son. However, thanks to the power of “youtube” I was able to get this site up and running. the purposed of this blog is to just put down my thoughts and maybe provoke thoughts in my readers that we can explore on various topics.

I was told by a friend of mine and fellow instructor at Moraine Valley Community College that some people’s lives are like cartoons and I am one of those people. I have to agree. I have had a pretty wild adventure most of the time. I’m not saying my life is that exciting, but I have taken a few opportunities to do things that have presented themselves to me. I like to be the person who says “Why Not?” instead of “Why?” I have always been on the go, even as a child. I wear a lot of hats. People tell me that I have too much on my plate and that I am constantly busy… and I am.

Through out my 48 years here roaming the Earth, I have observed and participated in many different things. This blog, I hope, will share some of these experiences with you. I’m not saying that what I have been through is any better than anyone reading this message, however, I hope to make you laugh and think a little bit.

So, Let’s Rock and Roll.

Julie